


Relative Insanity

by leathansparrow



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Humor, M/M, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-21
Updated: 2012-07-21
Packaged: 2017-11-10 10:49:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/465439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leathansparrow/pseuds/leathansparrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Allen's degrees of crazy hurt Lavi's brain. Somehow he likes it anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Relative Insanity

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the following Spring Kink prompt: _D.Gray-Man, Allen/Lavi: Strip Poker - "Allen Walker was clearly crazy."_

Allen Walker is insane. That fact is something Lavi learned within days of meeting him. How insane, well, that is increasing by a measure of degrees the longer he knows him. For one, stripping adult men to their shorts in a train car for the sole sake of revenge is a little nuts. 

More nuts is finding out a few months later that one of said men could remove your spleen without leaving a mark. 

The way Allen goes after Kanda, that’s crazy. It’s the sort of crazy Lavi can get behind, totally, because Kanda is hard to resist like that. Allen eggs Kanda on almost as much as Lavi does, and while Lavi appreciates the sentiment, he just didn’t expect there to be someone else as crazy as him. 

Especially since half the time he’s not sure if they’re fighting or flirting, because even he can’t get Kanda worked up like Allen can. Sometimes Lavi catches flashes, grey eyes catching his and little grins between those shouts and Kanda’s threats of violence, like Allen wants Lavi to see it. Like he likes it that Lavi sees it. 

Well, Lavi can always use a partner in crime. There’s no shortage of Kanda’s temper to go around. 

Allen’s crazy doesn’t start with poker, nor end with Kanda’s threats of bodily harm. He and Lenalee get on with a vengeance that’s maddening when Lenalee’s not two seconds and a drop-kick short of slapping him for playing the martyr. There’s genuine affection there, with the exasperation. She loves him, and Lavi could see that even with his free eye shut. 

She factors straight into Allen’s crazy too. He’s sweet to her. He’s braved her brother’s wrath more than once bringing her a treat from some mission he’s been on, or a trinket from far away. Those sorts of things though, they’re not too insane. Insane only because Komui is insane, but not really insane. 

Kissing Lenalee Lee in full “view” of the science division (they had cameras everywhere, so Lavi’s convinced they saw), now that is truly bat-shit insane. Good thing Komui was asleep for it.

Telling Lavi he could join in if he wanted, with that soft-mouthed smirk and lidded eyes and his knee between Lenalee’s legs, challenging and oh so very tempting, should have gotten him locked up. Seriously. In seconds. 

(This is why Lavi is dead sure Komui was asleep for it, because there haven’t been any tiny robots trying to kill him yet. That, and Allen is still alive.) 

Lavi booked out of that one as fast as he could. No way was he sticking around to be sucked into that sort of cracked madness. He remembered a groan, the sound of someone being shoved and Allen’s soft laughter as he ran like hell. 

This one though. This he should have seen coming. He’s been there, knows where this is headed, and he does not like it one bit. 

The thing is, Allen’s not the one who invited him. That idiot’s award belongs to Marie, who somehow missed the memo (mandatory memo, or it should be, Lavi thinks, because everyone should have been warned about this) that you DO NOT invite Allen Walker to a card game you hope to win. And Lavi’s dead sure strip poker is a game most people join to win. No one wants to be that guy on the bench stripped to his skin while everyone else laughs. 

Lenalee’s snuck in to join them. She’s next to Allen, leaning over his shoulder and laughing like Allen’s not cheating with all the insidious power vested in him. He’s the only one still fully clothed. He’s lost his tie, and Lavi knows, his eyes fixed on the sliver of pale skin revealed by his unbuttoned collar, that it was entirely deliberate. 

Stupid crazy Allen. Stupid crazy Allen’s half-lidded eyes, his tempting words and soft, full lips. 

Stupid Lavi, he thinks to himself, because he’s noticing all that and he shouldn’t. What he should be noticing is himself down to his trousers and eye-patch and likely to lose that to the minute Allen drops his hand. 

Kanda snorts at him when he whines, his head in a book. Lavi’s not sure if he’s actually reading it or using it as an excuse to ignore him, but for once Kanda’s the smartest of all of them. He never agreed to play. He says he’s just here to see if anyone can “put the beansprout in his god damn place.”

Fat chance. 

“Are you sure you want to go another round?” Allen’s all smiles, his eyes soft over the edge of his cards. He’s hiding a smile behind them, enticingly mysterious. With one hand he fiddles with his collar, drawing it open just a bit. Lenalee leans over, whispers something in his ear and he laughs as she brushes his throat. 

Damn. Lavi knows they’re together. He caught them, didn’t he? Right now he’s not sure who he’s jealous of. 

“Put ‘em down ‘sprout,” he says. 

“Allen,” Allen corrects him, and does.

Marie laughs. Kanda smirks behind his book. Lavi curses and kicks off his trousers. 

“Maybe you should give him a handicap,” Lenalee suggests, nudging Allen. Allen lifts an eyebrow at her, and without a word unbuttons his shirt, the pale fingers of his right hand surprisingly quick. He’s doing it one handed even, with enough skill that Lavi wonders if he always does. Then he wonders what else he can do with those fingers, and even more what he can do with that other hand, currently gloved, the rough scale-red skin hidden. 

Lenalee helps Allen pull his shirt free, leaving him in a sleeveless undershirt. She tosses the garment aside and Lavi scowls, because right now he knows which of them he’s jealous of and he’s not sure he likes it. He’s also not sure he hasn’t known all along.

Fuck it all. Allen was clearly crazy. And he was clearly trying to drive Lavi down with him. 

The tone of the game changes then, and like a switch has been flicked Kanda stands. Marie tosses in his cards with a laugh. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“If we don’t have some mission,” Kanda agrees. 

Then they’re both gone and Lenalee tells Allen something, pats him on the shoulder and leaves on their heels. 

Allen ducks his head. “Since it was you, I thought you’d notice,” he says. He stands, smiles, and it’s as fake as any Lavi’s seen. He knows a fake smile when he sees it. He’s practically invented them. “Lenalee’s been saying I should tell you, but I was hoping that—”

“Hoping what?” Lavi asks, his mouth dry. 

There’s a determined set to Allen’s jaw as his smile fades. Then he’s lurching forward, has his hand on Lavi’s cheek and those soft lips, the very ones Lavi’s been thinking about, are on his and suddenly Lavi gets it.

Oh shit, is the first thing he thinks. Objectivity and all.

Hell yes, is the next and he tangles his hand in Allen’s hair and tugs him closer, taking every advantage Allen gives him as he parts those lovely, lovely lips and moans. 

Allen breaths against his mouth, quick gasps, his cheeks flushed. “So the thing with Lenalee—”

“You really can’t take a hint can you?” Allen’s exasperation lasts for eight words and a pause and then Lavi can get back to bruising his lips plump. 

“You’re crazy,” Lavi tells him.

“And you’re dense.” Allen worries his lip. 

“Like I could tell it was me you wanted, with Lenalee hanging on you like that.”

Allen laughs. “I guess getting you jealous isn’t a trick that works. I’ll have to tell her.”

“Oh trust me,” Lavi says. “It worked.” 

Strip poker, sneaky gray eyes and six death wishes before lunch. Allen might be crazy, but Lavi thinks he’s okay being dragged down into it with him. 

“You’re still only in your shorts,” Allen says.

Lavi grins. “Well, I’m sure we can think of something to do about that.”


End file.
